Monday, February 21, 2011

Progress Prompt #8

How many sizes of clothes do you have in your closet and drawers? How do your "thin clothes" make you feel? Why do you keep your "fat clothes?" What would happen if you gave away every single piece of clothing that didn't fit you? Are you willing to do it?

About a year ago I cleared my heart and mind....and closet of all the old clothes baggage. I gave away a lot of my brand new lingerie, bras and panties that I have held onto for 10+ years. The majority of the panties were sizes five and six. Want to take a stab at what I wear now? Let’s just say that it isn't that number. It took me a long time to realize that having these didn't help me but were a sad and hard reminder that I continued to disappoint myself. As I try to honor the woman I have become I also realize that I am worth purchasing new stuff for the new me. I don't have to fit into the clothes, thoughts or body of that young girl any longer. I am a grown woman now and should honor this new phase in my life.

I thought that I was being frugal in saving things that I could use some day. I think that I was keeping a keepsake of my failure. A physical item that I can take out of a drawer or closet, hold up and show as a hard proof of not what I once was....but of what I failed to achieve. It was so hard to forgive myself for failing. It is still hard to do. But keeping onto the clothes was more of a self punishment than a treat.

I have selected a few pieces of clothing that have emotional value and have kept those. My prom dress with the broken zipper, the dress I wore to most parties as a teenager, a skirt, two slacks and the dress I changed into after the wedding reception. I keep them because I recognize them for what they are. Hope that makes sense.
I am currently using size 20 in pants. I have allowed myself one container with clothing under my bed. In there I am storing blouses and pants that are sizes 16 to 18. I am borderline ready to get into size 18s but I hate feeling like a sausage about to explode in tight pants so I might wait a few more weeks.

Here I am in my closet. I have to close the door in order to get a good picture. :)
Self portrait in closet

I am striving to honor myself. To honor all the work my hubby put into the new closet. The way I am doing that is by not placing clothing that I don't like and doesn't fit in the closet. I deserve better.

Edited: Posted on the wrong day. Update the date. Hang in there while I get the hang of blogger. Thanks!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

is that my polka dot dress back there?

good for you, moving forward.

Love ya! Amanada

Lourdes said...

But of course Ms Amanda. Although, I might need one-on-one time with the baby as a trade off.

Amanda said...

DONE!! She is yours when you want her!