Free time + bugg

Social Experiment Day Three

Sleep, where did you go my dear beloved friend? The past few days I have been having some serious issues with both going to bed and falling asleep.

Since my sweetie has been traveling I have stayed up way past midnight each night. After some frustration and consideration, I believe it is a combination of feeling disoriented with all this free time and being alone.

I have always had an independent streak in me and love love love the idea of all this free time. I am even looking forward to it but it seems that I need a period of adjustment. I am hoping that by this weekend I have settled into it and can enjoy it much more.

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. I have not been alone in my home for days on end in.....never. Even when we were moving to Florida and I stayed in NYC, Johanna, her son and sister were living with me. Before I got married I lived at home, before that at my college dorm. There I did have plenty of free time and loved it. How is it possible that 17 years have gone by since then? I feel like I am on a slowly winding drive to my true self. Not the young girl that came here but the true me. This weight has been a shield for me in so many ways. Bitchcakes posted something along these lines today.

What makes this all the more tragic is that I am the best sleeper you can find. I am an overachiever when it comes to sleeping to the complete disgust of my insomiac of a hubby. I can take a nap in the afternoon and still go to bed at my regular time with no issue at all. I am out cold within seconds of laying my head down.

As to the Body Bugg, I have a week wearing it and just yesterday started seriously entering my calories consumed in the system. I am pretty impressed with it. Yesterday wasn't a stellar day, by any stretch of the imagination, but I still managed to pull off a calorie deficit! I feel like I am right on the edge of falling into my groove and am looking forward to it!

Social experiment - Day One

Today my husband left to spend three weeks with my parents at their home, in a foreign country. This is only the second time in seventeen years that I have been away from him for more than a week.

At first, I was beyond thrilled with the idea. I thought that it was a good trip for him to get out of his rut, help my Dad out with his carpentry business and simultaneously provide me with some space to refocus.

Wonderful list maker that I am went on overdrive and created what I want to accomplish during his absence. Mainly organizing stuff, catching up with friends I haven't had the time to get to see lately and exercise. But here I am on, my first evening on my own....what do I do? I cried. Walking into this house without him in it felt....well...I don't know, weird? Strange? Dare I say lonely?

I need to literally and figuratively, suck it up. He has things to do, I have things to do. We are both safe and healthy for goodness sake. And my I dare to hope that distance will make the heart grow fonder? After 17 years, the heart, although involved, is not fond most of the time. And my I go as far to also hope that the butt will grow smaller? On that note, let me go get some exercise in for the day!