I went to Kohls a few months ago. I was looking for some new tops and maybe a skirt or pants. It was a solid so-so adventure. I find that clothes shopping is a complete mental adventure. I spend the majority of the time having a conversation with myself - alternately talking myself off and onto the ledge.
I realized this last expedition, (because yes I have to pack up my life experiences, guilt, accountability, successes and all the positive words available within me when I go to the stores)...
I choose things for the body that I want, not the body that I have.
I choose styles, looks, accessories for that future body.
This is a new behavior because years ago I chose old 80 year old grandma clothing, not even allowing myself the time to touch the pretty clothes.
I have learned to allow myself to dream a bit about what I like and then slowly progress to what is really do-able with the body I have. I mean, I could wear that form fitting dress, if I didn't care about how I looked. I really could. Shit, I have. :) But I have matured and realized that I like feeling good about what I am wearing a lot more than just wearing what I like.
Here is a picture of my in the dressing room. This is talk off the ledge moment - run on sentence monologue ohmygodisthatwhatilooklikeican'tbelievethatigotthiswaynevergoingtobe abletochangenoyoucanchangeyouhavechangednotenoughlookatthaturgh.
And then I took this picture. I remember thinking - you have come a long way. Just keep on moving. You'll be okay and I love how your hair is curling today. :)