Friday, February 10, 2012

humor only an IVF patient could get

I was Googling (does that word deserve a capital or should it be lower case? - a question for another day) FET protocols and came across an interesting blog.  This part was particularly funny to me.  Maybe you can only get the humor in it if you have been through the IU/IVF/FET hell.  The highlights and underlines are my emphasis on funny stuff.

AMS'  blog post: The stealth FET cycle
Let me set the stage…I’m trying to make my appointment for Aug. 1 for my sono check. It’s the appointment to see if my lining is thick enough to start the PIO and to schedule my transfer.
Approach counter
waitwaitwaitwait
“I’ll be with you in a minute.”
“Ok!”
waitwaitwaitwait
“Can I help you?”
“I need to schedule a sono for the first.”
“What kind of sono?”
Now, I always think of all sorts of snarky responses to this question. But I remain, as always, a good girl.
“Just a lining check.”
“Of your endo?”
Ummm…this is an RE, right? What other linings do you normally check with a sono?
“uh, yes.”
“Who’s your doctor?”
“Dr. N.”
August first?”
{sigh} No, December. I like to plan ahead.
“Yes.”
“Dr. N isn’t here that day. Is Dr. D ok?”
“Sure.”
“Ok, it looks like her only appointment is 9:45. Will that be ok?”
Now, that would mean I’d essentially miss at least three hours of work for a ten minute appointment.
“Um. There’s nothing else? Does this have to be done by the doctor? The nurse didn’t say anything about that and in the past it hasn’t been.”
“Oh, no. This is always done by the doctor so they can evaluate.”
Ok…so all, what, seven other times when I saw a nurse for this appointment what was going on then?
“Are you certain?”
“Well, I can check with the nurses and see…”
“Please.”
waitwaitwaitwait
From down the hall I hear “…and I would give the measurement to the doctor to review anyway, so it doesn’t matter who does the sono…”
VINDICATION IS MINE!
(Receptionist returns)”Well, I suppose we can have a nurse do it.”
typetypetype
“Oh, the nurses haven’t filled out the roster that far ahead yet.”
Um, 10 days? Doesn’t strike me as that far ahead, particularly for a practice that has such precise schedules. I scheduled TODAY’S appointment three weeks in advance with no problem. Your office hours are 7:30-6:30, so SOMEONE should be here, right, so just put my name down? Apparently not. Once they’ve cashed that $4000 check….
“So, I’ll just call in later, I guess?”
“Ok. Nothing is booked for then yet, so you should have no trouble.”
“When do you think the roster will be ready so I can call?”
“Any time.”
head meet desk, repeat.

She should be off work by the time they call with my E2 results. I’m going to try again then. Is there some unwritten rule that the front desk staff in an RE’s office have to be the most unsympathetic, least coordinated people around? Because, really, I love my doctor and the nurses. The folks who do the blood draws are hit-or-miss, but many of them aren’t employees of the clinic and come from one of the third-party labs so I don’t really count them. But the front desk staff? Suck to the nth degree. No, I still haven’t forgiven them for the sperm freezing debacle. I may NEVER forgive them for that. Or at least until I feel like I’ve gotten my $300 dollars worth of hate out on them. 

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